Practical Tips for Public Speaking and a Shameless Plug for Toastmasters
Why is public speaking so difficult?
The only way to get better at public speaking is through practice, but public speaking is similar to stand-up comedy in that you can't improve on your own; you need other people in order to work on the skill.
The reason public speaking is difficult is because of our emotions and how we mentally and physically react to them. Our emotions are powerful, and extreme emotions like anxiety, anger, or sadness can hinder our ability to think clearly. If you've ever felt your heart race, had trouble remembering what you wanted to say, sweaty palms, shallow breathing, or tense muscles before speaking, you experienced an emotional hijacking.
When you experience an emotional hijacking—let's say anxiety has taken over—one way to lessen this effect is by acknowledging both what you are thinking and how you feel about it. By recognizing that you are anxious, you can reduce that feeling, instead of telling yourself not to be nervous, which only increases nerves. By acknowledging your nervousness, you can focus on being present.
Tips to improve your public speaking
Choose one area to work on each time you speak and seek feedback. This approach will give you a plan and a tangible way to measure progress, which is motivating. Vague feedback like "work on public speaking" can be daunting because if you focus on everything, you end up focusing on nothing and become hyper-aware of your mistakes while speaking, reinforcing negative perceptions of yourself and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A big part of improving at public speaking is being kind to yourself. Acknowledge that mistakes will happen. When you begin to pay attention to the criteria for strong speaking, you become more aware of your mistakes, which can be discouraging. It comes back to that meme that has been circulating, which says, "Be brave enough to suck at something new." Your first podcast or first speech won't be great, but you can't reach your fiftieth speech without the first. To quote Kurt Vonnegut, "Practice any art, no matter how well or badly; not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what's inside you, to make your soul grow."
Find a supportive environment where you can practice public speaking. A supportive environment is one where you know what you are being evaluated on, how long you will speak, have time to prepare, and an audience that wants you to succeed. For me, being part of a Toastmasters club has been a game changer in terms of getting opportunities to speak, the structured nature of the meetings, and the abundance of resources provided on what to look for and think about.
When does it get easier?
A pivotal moment is when you can begin to look forward to your public speaking events and see them as opportunities for growth. This slight mental shift from fear to excitement changes everything. I love the encouragement that anytime you begin to experience anxiety or fear before doing something, you should reflect on how cool that is. There are people who chase that feeling and would pay for it. You should consider that feeling a privilege and be grateful that you are challenging yourself.
As you begin to gain more experience you see firsthand that public speaking is a nuanced skill, whether you are presenting in person or online, with a microphone or without, in large rooms or smaller spaces, under bright lights or ambient lighting, using a podium or not, with slides or without visual support. These are all considerations and slightly different scenarios that will affect what you need to pay attention to and are skills to work on.
The value of Toastmasters
One of the best parts of Toastmasters is that you get to see a wide range of communication styles—some are poised, slow, and deliberate in their delivery, while others are passionate, raw, and emphatic. I love how Toastmasters members come from different walks of life, including PhD students, fire chiefs, school principals, and people of different ages and backgrounds.
Another invaluable component of Toastmasters is the feedback. I used to be reluctant to provide critical feedback, but after receiving direct and nuanced suggestions, I am now more honest because I know it's coming from a place of kindness and trust. I keep the feedback I received from my last speech until my next speech. Before I deliver the latest speech, I review the feedback from last time and focus on one or two items. I even write out a visual reminder on my notes that I can see as I'm delivering the speech to remind myself.
If you have a fear of public speaking I can’t speak highly enough of what Toastmasters has done for me. I encourage you to find a local chapter and attend whether online or in person. You can attend as a guest as many times as you would like and visit different clubs.
I have been in Toastmasters for the last 2 years and have served as the Vice President of Membership for the Dupont Circle chapter for the past year. I am committed to this role for the next year as well. What I enjoy most about this role is not only the opportunity to practice my communication skills but also the chance to empathize with people who are scared of public speaking, provide positive encouragement, and cheer them on. By encouraging others to conquer the same fear I once had, I am finding ways to forgive myself for being so hard on myself in the past.